Part I
Personality Traits: What Are You Like?

Introductory Comments

Rationale: Every person is unique. Although we are different, as humans we need to be connected to one another on some level, whether it is through a friendship, neighborhood setting, or developing relationships in a group. For some, making connections seems to be effortless—people are drawn to someone with a fun personality, a sympathetic ear, wise counsel, or even just availability. But others, especially those with poor social skills, need a boost or specific training to help them see themselves as others see them, to gain confidence, to learn or improve behaviors, and even to accept themselves as worthy.

This part of the book is divided into two chapters. Chapter 1, “Investigating Personality Traits,” covers many personality traits to consider when evaluating one's own tendencies. Although there are many types of personality tests, the purpose of these lessons is to provide a simple platform where students can identify common personality traits.

The first series of worksheets deals with the “big five,” or common personality traits that most people would agree are desirable: honesty, kindness, trustworthiness, friendliness, and being hardworking. The students are not asked to officially rate themselves on these, but merely to think about these attributes and what it means to possess them.

The second series of worksheets digs a little deeper into common personality traits that are not really categorized into “right” or “wrong” but can be viewed as a spectrum. Is it wrong to be messy? Is it desirable to be fun-loving rather than serious? Is it okay to enjoy the journey rather than focus on the destination? This series of traits is designed for the students to evaluate their own personality traits without judgment! It is to help the students come up with an informal profile of “What I Am Like.” The student is introduced to the idea of a sliding scale with opposite attributes at each end. Again, there is not a moral judgment to be attached to the responses; merely the responses can be used as tools to get the students thinking about where they would place themselves on the spectrum. This information will be useful in later activities.

Chapter 2, “Putting It All Together,” is a third set of worksheets designed to help students take the information they compiled from the previous worksheets and come up with general statements or conclusions about themselves.

For example, suppose you see yourself as a creative, procrastinating, peace-loving introvert. What does that have to do with anything? Well, it does matter in that it affects job situations, choice of friends, being aware of what types of people will build you up or what types of people might take advantage of you. It also helps point out which individual skills would really be beneficial to learn and apply in order to meet personal goals. Knowledge is power—and self-knowledge is something that can be used to help an individual at least identify a starting point.

As students go through the worksheets, it is suggested that they keep data on themselves and compile the information at the end of this section so that they can produce an overview of themselves. They should be able to provide an answer to the question, What are you like? Information should include how they see themselves on the major positive personality traits and a few statements about their individual tendencies.

Also included in this chapter is a lesson on verifying student responses. Students may think they are behaving appropriately in a given situation when they are not. A student may decide they are not a leader, but someone else may recognize leadership qualities that just have not yet been developed. Students are asked to verify their responses by obtaining input from other people.

So, as you keep in mind that this is not a scientific assessment, please use the worksheets to have students explore personality traits; discuss what they are personally like, laugh at the examples, and refrain from labeling one end of the line as “good” and the other as “bad.”

We are all social beings, and maybe the first person to make peace with, learn about, and care for is yourself! With that as background, the social process can continue to involve interaction with others!

Where to Go for More

If students are interested, there are numerous online personality tests that students can take for fun or introspection.

Truity.com (a variety of personality tests)

teenagesurvival.com (specifically for teens)

16personalities.com (uses the Myers-Briggs types)

Tips for Teachers

Here are some tips for teachers to use in the classroom to help students become aware of ways to sharpen personality skills.

1. There are many online personality tests that can help students find their personality types. Enneagramtest.net is one that divides personality types into nine categories. Another is truity.com, which was created by Myers and Briggs and divides personality into sixteen groups. This information can be very helpful to students (and adults) who are curious to know how they would be scored on these well-known tests.
2. Help students discover their strengths. You as a teacher see the student in an academic setting and can help point out what you see as their strengths. It doesn't hurt to be reminded of this! Praise them for their achievements when honestly deserved.
3. Help students be aware of their weaknesses. This is just a starting point, not something meant to discourage them. Help them decide on a course to improve an area (academically, socially) that you see as needing help. No one has only strengths; we all have things that can be improved. Acknowledgment is the first step.
4. Provide students with opportunities to develop interests. The more students read and learn about the world around them, the more topics they will have to talk about. It's a big world out there—what do they want to learn about?
5. A typical school setting provides a wide variety of people to interact with. From the principal to the custodian, from many teachers to the school nurse, the counselor, the bus driver, and the lunch room staff. Each interaction is an opportunity for the student to demonstrate a pleasing personality. Students might require a little coaching before entering some of these areas. There's no reason not to thank someone for doing what they do for students.
6. Encourage your students to ask questions. They could ask questions about a lesson to help clarify a point or to request more information about the topic. This shows they are aware of what's being discussed and are with you. In classes other than your class, students should also be coached to ask good questions, not, for example, “Will this be on the test?” But “Can you give another example?” or “Could you explain that process?”
7. If opportunities arise, have students volunteer for class or school projects. Students can make deliveries, sort messages, help younger students, and so on. Volunteerism is an excellent way to gain a good reputation.
8. Have students identify a role model and talk about what aspects of that model are intriguing and positive. Do they admire the dedication of a professional athlete? Or the humor of a stand-up comic? What personality traits are they drawn to?
9. Encourage students to have an opinion on topics that are important to them or are timely. When someone asks them, “What's your opinion about … ?,” will they have enough knowledge about the topic to express an opinion? Can they back up their opinion with facts as well as feelings? “I don't know” is not an opinion! Push your students to do a little research.
10. Have students practice giving sincere compliments. Encourage students to find opportunities to genuinely say something nice about someone else and then kindly, authentically say the nice thing. It doesn't have to be outrageous; in fact, sincerity wins out here. “Cute earrings.” “Way to hustle in practice!” “I liked your story.” It could even be a thumbs up or nod of the head.

Pointers for Parents

Here are some ideas to help your child gain and use attractive personality qualities around the house or community.

1. Remind your child that inner beauty is the most important piece of their personality. It doesn't matter so much what you look like; it's what you are like inside that defines a person. Ask them to tell you about the nicest people they have met. Why are these people attractive and kind?
2. Smile. Having the appearance of a pleasing personality often includes a facial smile. Even if you don't feel happy, you can still have a pleasant look on your face. A smile doesn't commit you to anything—it's a very small social cue that you can wear with little effort.
3. Encourage your child to be a better listener. Even if you and your family are going in many different directions, put time in your day to gather everyone together and spend time listening to each other. Listening means that what the other person is saying is important. Thank your child for listening; say that it was important to you.
4. Honesty may be the most important personality trait there...